


Rants About Skants

by zaan



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaan/pseuds/zaan
Summary: Miles and Julian grouch about the new skant fad inspired by Garak
Relationships: Elim Garak/Others, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Others, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien
Comments: 20
Kudos: 76





	Rants About Skants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ConceptaDecency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/gifts), [the_last_dillards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_last_dillards/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Skantily Clad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24772855) by [the_last_dillards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_last_dillards/pseuds/the_last_dillards). 
  * Inspired by [Skant Supply](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25156831) by [ConceptaDecency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConceptaDecency/pseuds/ConceptaDecency). 



> My own continuation on what happens when Garak starts wearing a skant. You don't have to read the other works listed here to understand this one, but you should.

"I tell you, they're a blood nuisance, those skants. They've no place in Engineering. Bladdo gave it a try, the idiot. Changed his mind fast enough when he burnt all their hair off his legs, he did. Skants. I'm sick to death of them."  
His opinion thus stated, Miles O'Brien quaffed a long and lugubrious lungful of beer. His beer-brother in-arms, Doctor Julian Bashir, grimaced in reply.

  
"That makes two of us."

  
Miles blinked. "Since when?" He narrowed his eyes and sloshed his beer at Julian. "You were all for it when Garak started this whole faddish mess."

  
"Be fair. It wasn't his fault. Starfleet told him he had to wear a uniform, and it was the only one that covered him decently."

  
"You call that decent?"

  
"You would too if you saw him in pants with a hole so big you could see under his tail up to his collarbone."

  
Miles shuddered. "God forbid. But you still haven't said what changed your mind. You can't tell me you weren't right pleased about it in the beginning."

  
A dreamy smile overtook Julian's face. "I was. Garak's very fetching in a skant. I was all for it. It was a little exhausting, of course, what with all the trysts in alcoves and whatnot. Skants are very convenient, you know."

  
"I'm trying not to. Spare me the blushes, will you?"

  
"Right. Sorry. Anyway, it wasn't long before other people noticed too. Suddenly half the station wanted to buy him drinks at Quark's! I mean, it's not like I'm jealous – we've never been exclusive – but he's been booked solid for weeks, and here I am on the weekend playing darts with you. No offense: I love playing darts with you, but I like a little other action too once in awhile."

  
"So why aren't you? Playing the field, that is."

  
Julian sighed. "Don't think I haven't tried, but now that everybody's wearing skants, no one will give you the time of day if you're not."

  
"And why aren't you? I thought you'd be first one on the bandwagon."

  
Julian took a sudden interest in his beer. "Yes, well ..."

  
"Well, what?"

  
"Baby giraffe legs, all right? I've got baby giraffe legs. They're all thing and knobbly. Trust me, if I wore a skant, no one would ever sleep with me again."

  
"Who told you that?"

  
"A girlfriend back at the Academy."

  
"Well, even if it's true, so what? Just because one girlfriend didn't like your legs doesn't mean no one will. Hell, some people might go wild for baby giraffe legs."

  
"You think?" Julian hazarded with a hint of hope.

  
"I know so." He thought about what he'd just said. "But don't go taking that the wrong way."

_A week later at their next darts game Julian sashays in wearing a skant and grinning gleefully._

  
"You were right," he said as he sat down.

  
"Good week, I take it?"

  
"And then some. You wouldn't believe the attention I got. In fact, the first time Garak saw me in one he nearly walked into a wall! Of course, I had to help him up, and when I bent over –"

  
"Julian!"

  
"Sorry. Suffice it to say, everything is back on track."

  
"Glad to hear it. Now, can we please play darts?"

  
"You know, Garak did tell me something interesting. He's had to do a lot of skant repairs, and he did mention Keiko dropping off one of your uniforms ..."

  
Miles glared. "And?"

  
"Nothing! I'm all for it. You've just the figure to pull it off. I just thought you hated skants?"

  
"Well, I still maintain they're a nuisance at work, but it turns out Keiko finds them quite attractive, and soo ..."

  
"And so." Julian raised his glass. "To skants?"

  
"To skants."

**Author's Note:**

> Baby giraffe legs comes from To the Island by airandangels on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/212517)


End file.
